Is That How You See Me?

Have you ever heard someone give you a personality description of yourself that surprises you? What about describing yourself to someone and they are adamant you aren't like that? Who really knows you better, you or your friends/family?

I have had conversations where I said I am antisocial and don't play well with others. This personal feeling has been refuted by multiple people who say I'm outgoing and superfriendly and funny.

Yes, when I'm in a group I can act like an idiot, make people laugh, include those wall flowers in the festivities. Weird/random people approach me on the street/in the parking lots/at work/at casinoes just to talk. Apparently, I give off an "I'm really friendly to puppies" vibe that I have no idea I'm projecting. Waiters tend to look to me as if I'm the decision maker of the group.

Here's my thoughts. For me, people see what I think I'm letting them see, and not what I truly feel. I see myself as a homebody, a hermit. If I had the choice I would hide away in my house with my husband and cat and never venture out into the world to be social. Why? Well because my husband has seen me at my absolute best and my absolute worst. He still loves me even after watching me throw up all night, or being the target of PMS rantings. He knows all my secrets and still stays married to me.

There are very few people I feel I can totally relax around, and even fewer I feel I can trust with my inner thoughts.

What I really want to know is who is right about me? Am I the happy person who can always make a joke, or am I the antisocial hermit-girl? I know, I can be both. I guess what tweaks me is when people tell me I don't know what's in my own head. "No, you're not antisocial, you're a people person." I'm a people person because I have to be at times. But trust me, given the opportunity to be a people person or stay hidden in my cubicle playing Bejeweled during lunch, darn right I'm playing my game. Door is closed, don't poke the bear.

Unless you're giving that bear chocolate. Ooh, or wine. Ooh, ooh, how about chocolate AND wine? Give me chocolate and wine and I'll be as peoplely-persony as you want me to be. LOL