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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Lessons in Erotica

By A.J. Llewellyn

I am often asked by readers and interviewers what I have learned as an author of gay erotic romances. I've learned a lot. So much in fact, I have assembled a top 10 list of Lessons in Erotica.

10. I am no longer shy using words like 'penis' in public. Yes, I walked into an adult boutique the other day to purchase penis cupcake pans as gifts for a couple of readers. The store assistant called them pecker pans. They're penis pans, woman. PENIS! It took me a long time to be comfortable with this. When I first started writing my books, I went to Circus of Books and felt like a deviate when I asked, "Do you have a movie called Fuck Holes?"

9. I no longer wait until a store is half-empty to ask the clerks what gay movies are hot. I ask the customers. Although I still don't like the ones that rub up against me. Guys who rub up against you in adult book stores are not hot. They are usually creepy, smell and missing several teeth.

8. I feel quite comfortable discussing sex in public.

7. I am no longer shocked when readers email me with sex questions. I'm no therapist but I like to think I give good, I mean advice...

6. I am stoked when readers ask me about sex scenes and ask if I really tried the licorice rope ties in Shipwreck Bay or the Popsicle blow job lessons in Summer Love. The answer is yes to both.

5. I am not above a bit of shameless self promotion, such as mentioning book titles. See Number 5 above.

4. I love it when readers email me quirky sexual experiences they've had, especially when they tell me I can use them in my books. Quirkiest one yet? The reader who told me he came just by his lover licking his ear repeatedly. I haven't tried it yet but one of my characters did. He rather enjoyed it. I forget which book right now. Sorry. Missed opportunity for another bit of shameless self promotion, drat the luck!

3. I no longer get irate when church-abiding people who find out what I write make moral judgments about me and my books, especially when they haven't read them. I just feel sorry for them. I go to church too, but I don't tell them what to do in their bedrooms, but I can imagine fisting and water sports are part of their secret regimes...

2. I no longer get upset when I get bad reviews. That's what voodoo dolls are for. (Kidding)

And the number one thing I have learned...drum roll please!

1. I am in the fortunate position of being able to tell supermodel Adam Killian to please remove ALL his clothing. And he does!! Yeah, baby! Unfortunately only cover photography is involved, but still...what a thrill.

What have you all learned from writing and/or reading erotica?

Aloha oe,


1 comment:

Lynn Crain said...

Oh, I'm not sure I've learned much but it does occasionally give me a dose of quasi-reality.

Like, I really can't bend like a pretzel and I'm not sure if I even want to any more. LOL!

Or maybe the night our teenager found our stash of adult games. Yes, son, your father and I really do own a game called "Around The World In Bed." I can't tell you just how much angst this caused the teenager nor just how pleased I was that it did.

Then there's the phrase, "Do it to me one more time" as a pickup line...did that ever really work on someone?

All in all, writing erotic fiction has opened up my eyes to things I knew thought I wanted or needed to know. And right now, that isn't a bad thing.

Even Dad says Mom would be proud if she were still around. LOL!


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