The other day during dinner, my daughter announced, “I have a boyfriend.”
Even though she’s only eight, my husband immediately got a panicked look on his face. “What do you mean a boyfriend.”
Daughter rolled her eyes. Funny how at third grade she already has this move perfected. “You know, Daddy. A boy who loves me.”
“I’m sure you don’t mean he loves you,” I told her.
“Oh, but he does. You see I was running on recess and he was running too. We ran into each and fell on the ground. As soon as we got up, we looked at each and...” she paused for drama as she put a hand to her heart”…it was true love.”
I should point out that my daughter has a speech delay so it came out as “Trew lub.”
By this point my husband was so worked up I thought he was going to piss kittens. “You’re too young for true love,” he argued.
“Oh, but Daddy it is,” she sighed.
“What’s his name?” I asked, as I got up to pour my husband a strong drink.
Daughter scrunched up her face. “I don’t know his name. I just call him Bad Boy because he’s always in trouble. That’s okay though, because all girls like the bad boys.”
I poured my husband a double.
The love affair lasted a whole week before there was trouble. Daughter came home from school, threw her backpack down, then fell back on the couch in a dramatic fashion that would have made Scarlett O’Hara proud. “I had the most terrible of days.”
“Really, what happened? Did they run out of your favorite ice cream bars again?” I barely looked up from my computer, because quite frankly there is always tragedy where she is concerned. I’d be worried if she didn’t come home with tale of woe.
“Bad Boy and I broke up!”
Now that did get attention. After all it’s not every day “trew lub” is thwarted. “Why? How? When?”
“We both got in trouble in recess line for talking. I told him it was his fault. He told me it was mine. Then we got mad and broke up.”
Now I was the one panicking. How should I help her get over this loss? Do I get her ice cream? Chocolate? A sappy chick flick? “Are you okay?”
She shrugged. “I think so. After all, there are way more boys in my class than girls. I think I’ll start searching for a new boyfriend tomorrow.”
“Another bad boy?”
“Nah, I think maybe this time, I’ll pick someone who is more quiet and doesn’t get in trouble all the time.”
True to her word, the next day she had a new boy in her life. I met him at the class Valentine’s Day party. She was right, he is nice, quiet and totally under her control. I wonder how long this love affair will last?