Thank you!

On June 16th, the Many Shades blog will be closed.
The authors thank you for your readership and hope you will come visit them at their personal sites via the links to the left.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

My first time-On my mind

Hello Blog Readers- I am new at this blog thing so i will just start with introducing myself. I am Courtney Breazile, author, reader, and mother extrodinaire. I will be blogging here on the second and fourth saturdays of the month so I hope I can get you thinking with my tidbits of opinion.

I like this blog, it seems to be just whatever is on the bloggers mind that day and so it keeps it interesting and different all the time.

So what is on my mind lately? Aside from total world domination of course- raising my family right in spite of all the things working against us. Technology makes it easier for us to ignore eachother and gives kids another way to get in trouble. The horrible stories about cyber bullying and text bullying, not to mention sexting, its sickening to hear about what these kids are doing to eachother and driving others to kill themselves over it. But without completely taking away your child's privacy how do you know that its going on, how do you know they are not the bully or the one being bullied? I try and emphasize with my children that even the smallest bit of teasing can have detrimental affects on the person. It is never ok to even joke tease out of earshot of the person. If you are involved then you are part of the problem.

Not that as a parent I am claiming to be anywhere near perfect, believe me I am not, but as my children grow and start taking on their own personalities I am becoming more aware of how the little things that I do, that I think are harmless, are affecting them and their attitudes.

Modeling appropriate behavior at home is so important, and not as easy as it sounds. Any little thing you say or do or laugh about makes kids think that way. So is it the parent's fault that these kids are bullies, perhaps, the cycle had to have started somewhere. Of course we could always go with the age old, blame society, thing. That way no one has to take responsiblity.

In the end I think all you can do is hope. Hope that you set a good example and hope that they will do the right thing in the moment. Because you can't be there to make sure that they do what they should and no matter how carefully you sheild them they will still see or hear it somewhere.

I don't know, what do you think?

1 comment:

Lynn Crain said...

First, welcome, Courtney! We can always use a new face around here.

And I am glad that you like what you see on this blog. I think that was one of C.R.'s original objects when putting us all together. Which makes it interesting since we all have a different take on life.

I so know what you mean about kids. I see it every day in my two. Both of them are great kids first of all. But with the older one, we were very strict and made him tow the line. It's a wonder he grew up semi-normal as he was expected to act a certain way all the time. And he was going to be our only child.

Fast forward 14 years and my husband starts traveling. I get pregnant and have another son. Now, we the parents are more grown up and know what we could have done better. Now, I'm not saying we pulled a complete 180 but we were a little lax on some things. This time, we have an in-our-face 17 yo kid who doesn't mind telling us always what's on his mind, what's wrong with the world and the like. Plus, he's diabetic and there isn't a day that goes by where he's talking about medical miracles. Oiy-vey! It's like being in a powder keg sometimes. But he's a great kid!

BUT the basic things are really great. He has never tested the boundaries like the older one and never kept anything secret either. The older one always had some secret thing happening to the point we actually sent him to private school for a year because we were at a lose on what to do with him. I'll never have to do that with the younger one because I can just look at him and know what he's thinking.

Both my boys are technology babies and want whatever the latest is. Both of them think that what the kids are doing is crazy overall. Now, the older one has been sending dirty jokes through his cell phone from the moment he got the first one and realized it could be used for that. The younger one thinks it silly most of the time and knows that he has to keep everything on the QT until he's old enough. A lot of texts, he won't even open because he doesn't want to know what's in them.

Still, I think that in this day and age, we have done an overall great job as both kids are driven to succeed and do well most of the time. They will have their ups and downs but both are at the point where their own decision making skills come into play. We've finally made it to consultant status.

And I like it!


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