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On June 16th, the Many Shades blog will be closed.
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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Friends You Make

Making friends for me is usually hard because I’m typically a shy person. If you met me on the street after talking to me on line, you might not believe we were the same person. I’m usually the quite one in the corner listening to what everyone else has to say.

I hate being the center of attention in any way shape or form. The only exception was during my time in the Air Force when I became a leader during my Tech School days. The military helped me with some of my shyness, but the longer I’m out the more it comes back.

The internet can be a wonderful thing if used the right way. For me it is weird because I have never met some of my best friends. Growing up I had one or two friends I could talk to and I was fine with that, but today I have a handful of really close friends and a ton of great people that I love to talk to. If I miss a day talking to a few of them I wonder if something is wrong and I miss them. My friends off line I could not talk to for day and be fine with that.

I wonder why that is. For me I have always had a fear of worrying what others think and feeling like I sound stupid. On line I have time to think about what I’m going to say instead of blurting something out that could embarrass me. Did I tell you that I also embarrass easy? Try taking a four year old to the store. He has no filter, but that is a good thing because I think I have enough filter for ten people! lol

Do you know what is even better? That when I meet my online friends in person I should be comfortable enough to be who they see on line. Will I still embarrass easy, um…yeah. Will I still be shy, of course, but I will also know that I can be myself and still have a great time. My on line friends don’t judge me and it is very freeing.

I’ve already met one, Valerie, and we get to meet up again at the Lori Foster Event next year. I also get to meet a few of my other on line friends. I’m counting down the days. I think there are three people I REALLY want to be there and only one of them MIGHT go. Joy, she can’t go because she’ll have just been transferred to Germany, AJ Llewellyn, he is already going to RT and Ohio is too far from LA and TA Chase, he is still a maybe! lol I will just have to be satisfied with all the wonderful people I will see.

How about you? Is it easier to meet people on line or in person?


joyroett said...

I hesitate to approach people in person because I don't want to be rebuffed. If someone approaches me however I go with the flow. Online makes it all easy. :)

I still have my fingers crossed for Lori's. I dont know by what miracle I'll get there but a kid can dream. lol

molli said...

On line definitely. In real life I'm the one hiding behind the large plant, if I even go out at all. I don't deal well with groups of people I don't know. I've been lucky to meet a whole bunch of my online friends from a board I'm on. I did fine there, because we'd been 'friends' for years, they were more like family. I might be 'mouthy' online, but in 'real life' I usually don't say three words.

Valerie T. said...

I have learned as I get older, that I can just approach someone. I never did it when I was younger, but now I figure "what the heck"!

I look forward to meeting/seeing my online buddies and seeing Jambrea again in June. Fingers crossed for Joy!

Valerie :D

mamasand2 said...

Brea, I am the very same. It is very difficult for me to talk to others unless they are a good friend.

The first time my boss asked me to make a presentation of our software to a prospective company's management, I spent weeks writing, outlining, and memorizing it. Then I got up in front of them and FROZE.

I love the freedom of the internet, the time to think before typing, and all the friends I've made there.

And Brea, you were one of my early friends who helped me to come out of my shell.


Speaker said...

I'm shy in person... until I get to know people.

I'm not shy online.

I've met a good bit of my online friends and I'm always shy at first in person... but warm up quicker than people I meet in real life.

But I'm also usually at Cons and that makes meeting people easier in general. :)

T.A.Chase said...

It's by far easier for me to meet people on-line. I have to be more out-going in my day job, but it's not something I'm particularly comfortable with.

Talking on line is easy because you tend to already have something in common with the people you're chatting with. :)

AJ Llewellyn said...

Hey Sweetie,
I am not shy in person but I will say this. I have trouble with guys once they know what I write because they expect me to be this big sex maniac or their own personal life 24 hour sex phone operator - I am neither!
I have met some wonderful people online including you and I am profoundly grateful for that!

Jambrea said...

Joy - I'm crossing my fingers too!

Molli - I'll hide with you! lol

V - Can't wait for June!

Sandie - awww...glad I could help

Andy - I'm the same way! It just takes a bit for me to warm up.

TA - My day job forces me to talk to strangers all the time, but I think work is just a little differnt. At least for me it is!

AJ - But..but..AJ, I thought you were MY personal life 24 hour sex phone operator! heehee. Seriously, I can see how that would be a problem. :)

Erin Sinclair said...

I can understand the shyness factor or the fear of being judged or feeling out of place. I would tend to agree the internet helps keep long distance friends and family in instant touch with one another, however give me human interaction any day, the energy exchange, reading the body language, or in my (and I'm sure quite a few others case) because I am a practicing medium/pyschic I love to "see" the energy around a being and note whose with them helping them through this life. I know it sounds whack-a-doodle crazy, but it is what it is for me. I've been aware of my second sight since I was a child. I've helped an enormous amount of human beings with these odd abilities so, I just go with it now. :-D

Jambrea said...

Erin - That is SO cool. I can see why you want that interaction. don't sound crazy at all. :D

Lynn Crain said...

I would say that it depends. I think the reason that the internet is sooo popular is that there is some anonymity associated with who we meet here.

Still, having friends is always good no matter what. You can bounce ideas off them and share things with them you share with no one else.

I love making friends on the internet and hope to make many, many more.


Julie Robinson said...


I would never have believed it about your shyness if I hadn't chanced upon it here. You are in several loops with me and, dear lady, you are NOT the quiet one!! I tend to be a lurker more times than not.

Of course, I can understand that because people who know me in person now think I'm joking when I tell them that I was painfully shy as a kid because I was always picked on.

Meeting people on line is new to me, but I love it.
It does open up a freedom that is good for the shy at heart.


Kristie~ said...

I tend to be very particular of the people I meet in person. I am not shy, nor do I worry people won't like me. I am a take me or leave me kinda gal. I just don't let people "know" me.
Online I have met some wonderful people, Jambrea, Val, Joy, AJ, included and I would feel completely comfortable meeting in person. I tend to be very outgoing if I like you.
The cool thing about the internet is....if someone doesn't like me...they don't have to tolerate me until I go away. They can just no harm no foul.
I like that!
Excellent post Jambrea!!

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