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Monday, October 13, 2008

Cheating or not?

My husband and his co-workers had a conversation recently concerning the question: Is flirting cheating? Some said yes, others said no, while a few said it depends upon the intent behind the flirting. ‘Looking’ was also brought up and some argued that was cheating as well while the other side said it depends upon what’s being looked at, ie: a married man going to a strip club would be ‘cheating.’
So the question this week dear readers: Is flirting cheating?
What’s your say on the matter?


Erin Sinclair said...

No, harmless flirting is a healthy outlet for the self-esteem and ego. It is unfair to put all the stress on one's significant other to be every single thing to you at any given moment, including your self-esteem support system, all the time. How you feel about yourself is ultimately up to you even though it absolutely matters what your significant other thinks and feels about you. That being stated, the art of discretion and discernment is sadly missing in this day and age. It is wrong to even remotely make your partner feel inadequate in any sense. If your relationship is at a where that kind of negativity is occurring it is time to fix it or move on. Cheating is always intentional and completely unrecoverable in my opinion. Once that boundary is crossed it will happen again until the individual cheated on draws leaves otherwise that abuse of trust and spirit will continue.

Lynn Crain said...

Heavens! Flirting is not cheating nor is looking. I point them out to my DH because I can appreciate a beautiful body as much as the next person. LOL!

I personally 'cheat' with whatever hero I'm writing about that week. So far, I've had a wizard, a soldier, an elemental, a doctor, a lawyer, a swordsman, a captain of a star ship, an alien, a vampire, a werewolf and god knows how many more when I think about my idea file. Is that cheating?

I asked my DH once if he thought that I was cheating with other men because of the writing thing. At first he didn't know what to say. Eventually, he told me that he thought it actually spiced up our life because I was a creative person, so no, I wasn't cheating.

Once I went to a concert with friends. One was a married woman who flirted endlessly as did the other two. They all asked why I didn't. I told them that the only one I really wanted to flirt with was my husband. After all, I did love him enough to marry him. The only guy of the group got a big grin on his face and announced to the group that he wanted to marry someone just like me. I just smiled and told him he'd get his chance. My other girlfriend there who was single at the time, told me she was slightly jealous of just how secure I was in my husband's love. My DH traveled frequently and had plenty of opportunity.

I just smiled because I realized I knew a secret that none of my friends had. When you're with your true soulmate, it doesn't matter what's out there because there is only each other, you can only see each other even though you can appreciate beauty in the world around you.

Flirting...bring it on! LOL!


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