I am celebrating today. What, you ask? Today is three years now that I have been cancer free. Whoo hoo! It's a milestone as milestones go. It was literally three years (was a Wed then) that I underwent a two hour surgery to remove a tumor and 15 inches of my colon. They put everything back together nice and neat, kept me in the hospital till Sunday and sent me home to recover. Then on Dec 4th, I started chemotherapy. That my friends is an adventure all in its own!
This morning hubby and I went to a breast cancer pancake breakfast. For a $5.00 donation, you could eat all the pancakes, sausage, coffee and juice your little heart desired. It was held at our local On The Border restaurant. They also gave you a scratch off ticket with each donation. We won a free cup of queso dip for our next visit there off the scratch off. Works for me as I love Mexican food. OK, who am I kidding, I love all types of food.
But I am digressing. Which is something else I am very good at (G).
I am truly happy to be alive. For a long time, I didn't know whether I would really get through the chemo. My very first week I was on the 7th day and totally ready to give up the battle. I was exhausted, no appetite, all I could do was lay there in bed and cry. Said very seriously. Chemo is something that for those of you who have never experienced it, or had a friend or loved one go through it, chemo literally takes you to the brink of death in order to kill whatever cells are still alive in your body to get you healthy. Then chemo brings you back from the brink after it kills the little buggers. That's probably the easiest way to describe it.
I wasn't ready for the onslaught to hit so quickly. I knew it would slow me down, poop me out and so on, but figured I had a few weeks to get used to the idea. Nope, I was wrong in a big way. I think I was more than halfway thru my chemo when I was able to get myself back on track, do the things I loved to do, but in a downscaled sort of way. And now, well now I am not 100% and never will be again.
I saw my oncologist this week and we were talking about cancer and chemo and being normal. Her answer "After cancer and chemo, you have to develop a whole new set of what's normal in your life. You can't go back to the old way." She's right, you can't. All you can do is go forward. It's alike like the title of the Marcia Wallace (remember her, she was the secretary Carol on The Bob Newhart Show). Her book is entitled "Don't Look Back, We're Not Going That Way." Very good reading is anyone is interested.
I'm not looking back. I'm looking forward, moving my life forward, moving my writing career forward, and have a whole new outlook on life. So to all of you cancer survivors out there, keep on pushing forward. We've got a lot of living left to do.
Till next time, Patti